“A Final Charge to Timothy
You, however, know all about my teaching, my way of life, my purpose, faith, patience, love, endurance, persecutions, sufferings—what kinds of things happened to me in Antioch, Iconium and Lystra, the persecutions I endured. Yet the Lord rescued me from all of them. In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, while evildoers and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” – 2 Timothy 3:10-17 (NIV)
Resuming the discussion from the previous week (“Condition to Love” link here), I discussed how we (especially young girls and women) are conditioned to give unending love and loyalty in the hope that our love will change someone for the better. It could be our own family, friends, coworkers, romantic relationships, or even someone you randomly meet down the street.
While Biblically, love is unconditional, we learn that we are not to have anything to do with people that are written about in 2 Timothy 3:1-9. How then, should we live? How do we love those we are called not to have anything to with?
As Paul writes, we are charged like Timothy to continue in what we have learned from the Scripture, holding on to faith. In turn, our faith, if genuine, leads to acts of love – our works (James 2:14-26). Speaking of which, I want to take this opportunity to clarify about what prayer is.
Prayer is in and of itself act of love. Many say that prayer needs to be paired with action. Prayer IS action. Prayer is stepping out in faith that God is hearing what we ask for, and that if we ask in accordance to His will, He will do it (1 John 5:14).
Prayer should always be done first (Matt 26:41). Before Christ served, He prayed. Before He did anything, He prayed (Matt 14:23; Matt 26:36; Matt 26:44; Mar 1:35; Mar 6:46; Mar 14:32; Luk 5:16; Luk 6:12; Luk 9:18; Luk 9:28; Luk 11:1; Jhn 12:27; Jhn 17:21).
On the other hand, you can have faith without action (which is dead and not true faith at all). I will say it again. Prayer by itself is action. You can have faith without deeds, but same cannot be said of prayer.
David Bryant put it beautifully: “Prayer is action. By it we step out in advance of all other results…Praying is an activity upon which all others depend. By prayer we establish a beachhead for the kingdom among peoples where it has never been before. Prayer strikes the winning blow. All other missionary efforts simply gather up the fruits of our praying.”
The purpose of prayer is not to change God, but to change the way we live by faith. For example, how do we first receive salvation through Christ? Prayer. How did the disciples receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit at the Pentecost? Prayer (Acts 2). Prayer is an action preceding faith. Prayer transforms our perspective to become more like Christ and less like our natural world view (2 Corinthians 5:16).
In a similar vein, this reminds me of what my mother once told me. When she first began attending church as a teen, she heard someone say that only so-and-so’s mouth will go to heaven. Apparently, the person excelled in telling others the Word of God, but their deeds, stemming from faith, was lacking.
Another time, an EM pastor testified that while preparing for the church retreat, they were dealing with a lot of details. Food, budgeting, location, transportation, gas, time of travel, number of participants, the retreat staff, the logistics of everything. But God told him and the team to stop and simply pray, pray, pray. As a result of prayer, God’s power overflowed, and Holy Spirit moved freely throughout the retreat.
Prayer is action. It doesn’t make sense to say we need to have prayer and action. Yes, there may be people we know who pray much, but do not act; yet the lack of action is due to their faith not being firmly rooted in God (Matt 21:21-22; Mark 11:21-25; James 1:6-8).
This leads to the next question: how do you know if your faith is genuine? By one reliable measure that God has given: love (1 John 4:7-21; John 15:12-17; 1 Thessalonians 4:9; 1 Peter 4:8; 1 John 3:14). This leads to the next point. The Bible bluntly says “Christians” who claim to love God but do not love their brother or sister are liars and the love of God is not in them, because God is love and when we receive Christ, we have love (1 John 4:20).
The fact that our love doesn’t change people have nothing to do with giving up on them.
The purpose of this writing is not to convince you to stop caring about people and giving up on them. I request you reread 2 Timothy 3, pray that God makes it clear to you, in order to understand the point and consider carefully the context. The context is this: we are not to have anything to do with abusive, wicked people.
You can love people by setting healthy boundaries. Love without boundaries lead to abuse – no exceptions. You can love people by praying for them without getting intimately bound up in their lives. Sometimes going no contact with the people described in 2 Timothy 3:1-9 is the only way to maintain our healthy walk with Christ and other people who build us up instead of tearing us down.
Remember the first thing God did from the very beginning when creating the world was to establish boundaries? The same principles are applied from the smallest relationships between atoms to a greater scale of the universe we live in (Genesis 1-3).
Finally, there is a vast difference between trying to love someone in order to change them and offering the people up to God in prayer. When we offer people up to God in prayer, it becomes natural for us to ask: Lord, how do I love this person?
The former way tries to bring about change in the other person’s heart by exerting some measure of control or personal influence. A person’s heart is a precious thing that only God can control (Proverbs 21:1). Treat theirs – and yours – as such. The latter way entrusts the person to God, without trying to control the outcome through our own personal works. See the difference?
One path depends on personal works towards a person to create our personal desired outcome in their heart. The other choice surrenders the person up to God in love, with full trust and knowledge that their heart is only for God to manage, never ours.
My hope for you is that you continue praying for people and never give up (Luk 18:1-14). But do not make the mistake that your love for them will change them or that you need to be intimately bound with such people in order to act in His love. Sometimes loving someone means praying for them without recognition from them or others (Matt 6:5-8). Trust in God, not your love.
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