May 10, 2020

“Laughter can conceal a heavy heart,
but when the laughter ends, the grief remains.” – Proverbs 14:13 (NLT)

I just found out today. I’m sorry, I should have reached out more. I assumed that you were busy when you didn’t answer my texts.

I assumed you would always be there.

You were my brother from another mother – the very best anyone could have.

I believed that when the shutdown was lifted, we would meet up like we planned, get some Korean bbq or something.

I miss you a lot.

Even though we would squabble over the littlest things, we laughed and shared funny stuff.

You were always a giver.

But it was hard for you to let people love you too. It was hard for you to accept love from others, but you are loveable, just the way it is.

Because of this shutdown, a lot of us weren’t able to say goodbye, to have that closure. I keep wondering “why”…?

I remember your warm hug, your jokes. But also brief glimpses of your pain. But I didn’t understand how deep it was…

You tried so hard to find joy even in tiniest things every day.

I’m really sorry – I couldn’t shoulder that burden with you. I couldn’t pull through that clouds of darkness, tear through the veil and reach you.

Lord, please teach me how. And grant me this request – save those suffering in silence. Let them know Your goodness. Help us in our grief. Reach those suffering. Heal us and save us.

“I lie in the dust;
revive me by your word.” – Psalm 119:25 (NLT)

Thank you for everything, my brother. I love you and miss you. Your memory is a blessing.

“I weep with sorrow;
encourage me by your word.” – Psalm 119:28 (NLT)