In Spite of Me

“The earth was without form, and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. ” – Genesis 1:2 (NKJV)

The world is dark. The mind is dark. And the heart is dark. Darkness dwells, filling in every area we see.

Even in the beginning, there was darkness.

The Word says everything was swallowed in darkness. There was only emptiness (Genesis 1:1-2). Even now in this world, we have only darkness, the deep emptiness of a spiritual kind.

And the first thing God does in both circumstances – in the beginning and through Christ – is to shine light into the darkness.

“Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light.” – Genesis 1:3 (NKJV).

And again:

“In the beginning the Word already existed.
    The Word was with God,
    and the Word was God.
He existed in the beginning with God.
God created everything through him,
    and nothing was created except through him.
The Word gave life to everything that was created,
    and his life brought light to everyone.
The light shines in the darkness,
    and the darkness can never extinguish it.” John 1:1-5 (NLT)

And so we have light.

If I were to be honest with you, even with knowing God for as long as I could remember, I struggled with the darkness in my mind.

The darkness stemmed from all the bitterness in my heart.

Pain and loss leads to bitterness. Bitterness leads to resentment and hatred. This bitterness corrupts others, for it is written: “Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.” – Hebrews 12:15 (NLT),

and “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV),

and again, “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.”- Luke 6:45 (NLT).

Yet I can still remember with clarity all the sufferings and wrongs at the hands of others. This leads to despair, for if I cannot be free from this even after years of struggle, where’s my hope? When will it end, and where will I go?

Romans 15:13 clearly says in no uncertain terms that God is the source of hope. Hope is not to be found in good deeds we see and hear of that leaves us glowing with happiness and dissipates after a little while. That sort of hope is eventually forgotten.

Hope is not in tomorrow. Hope is not in the new job you need. Hope is not in progress you are making, for anything we do can become undone in a moment.

“The words of the Teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem:

 “Meaningless! Meaningless!”
    says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
    Everything is meaningless.”

What do people gain from all their labors
    at which they toil under the sun?” – Ecclesiastes 1:1-3 (NIV)

Therefore God is the source of hope. Whatever He designs to accomplish, He will.

“As the rain and the snow
    come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
    without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
    so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
    It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
    and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” –Isaiah 55:10-11 (NIV)

I look to God and feel very sure of this, that my purpose in the Lord will be fulfilled. “I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me.” – Psalm 57:2 (ESV)

David wrote this, not knowing when his exile during the reign of his enemy, King Saul, would end. He knew that God is the source of hope. And so He is.

Keep this for yourself. Whatever purpose God created you, created me for, it will be done. In spite of you. In spite of me. In spite of our failures, our pain, our weaknesses. It will be done.

May we have joy not dependent on anything in this world, in ourselves, people, and our beloved animals, but in God. That’s true hope. That’s His unchanging, eternal love.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”- Romans 8:38-39 (NIV)

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