“A gentle answer turns away wrath,
    but a harsh word stirs up anger.

The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge,
    but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.

The eyes of the Lord are everywhere,
    keeping watch on the wicked and the good.

The soothing tongue is a tree of life,
    but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.” – Proverbs 15:1-4 (NIV)

 

A letter to ladies and gentlemen:

It is good to be honest, to treat others well, to be respectful and kind, regardless of where they come from, what they look like, and wherever you meet them.

Human relationships can be incredibly complex, and most of the time, they are very vexing.

There may be times when some of the people you meet begin thinking that the reason why you treat them well is because (in their eyes) you are interested in a potential romance.

I don’t think this is expressed enough: you are not at fault if someone misinterprets your actions and words to mean something romantic or that there is “something there.” You are not obligated to reciprocate that person’s feelings.

Rejection hurts. It always does. You are trapped now, in an uncomfortable place. You like that person – but not in a romantic way. You like that person as a good friend. You value the friendship. It has happened before, or maybe it was the first time. You are not sure of how to gently and kindly express in clear terms the truth to clear their misunderstanding.

My advice is, just tell them, privately, directly. Be kind and patient. Above all, be clear. They may get upset. Chances are, things will become awkward. It is, after all, in human nature, to reject in turn when being rejected.

At best, you both will learn to move on. At worst, the other person becomes petty, vengeful, hurtful, vindictive… Maybe you will notice that the mutual friends or people around you will not treat you as warmly as they once did.

Do not worry. If the worst happens, I hope you know that you are not at fault. That you will be able to move on. It hurts for while, but sometimes the wisest course is to leave. These moments are life lessons to be learned. You will learn to not only continue to treat others the same way you want to be treated…but to also choose your friends carefully. People will always misinterpret and misunderstand you. Do not let that change your love to become cold and fearful of those misunderstandings. May you be wise.

“Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18 NLT).